Death by peanut butter

I will mug hard from now on. I will definitely mug hard from now on. I didnt get full marks for math (and the marks I got are below expectations), I got careless in English and missed the full marks too, and careless in Geography and missed full marks again. And I failed jap... again. However, I decide not to quit! :DDD Once circle line is done maybe JUST MAYBE I will consider transferring back to Bishan thursday class:DDD

Reason 1 why I should mug hard: I got sick of facebook.

Reason 2 why I should mug hard: I cannot stand not getting full marks for Math and Geography, and I will aim to get a full marks for Physics:D

Reason 3 why I should mug hard: Not fail jap again.

Reason 4 why I should mug hard: I want RA Math and Physics

Reason 5 why I should mug hard: I want a GPA 3.8

Reason why I WILL mug hard: SUSHIS xDDDDDDD

Mr Goh resigned, so I'm not sure who I should get to write me the teacher's reccomendation for Physics RA. (I'm still pretty scared that I won't do well for PT).

CLE was on sexuality education. Zhanglaoshi call it sexy sexy talk (er). Ms Tay was telling us about male and female -ness and how we should behave like a lady and I got angry at that. Why must females behave in that certain lady-like way and males behave in that certain gentleman-like way or whatever else. Why can't females behave like males and males behave like females? It's so unfair! Like my Grandma tell me all the time that I shouldn't be reading sci-fi or crime-fic or psychological-related books or thrillers because usually its the boys who read them. That I should start watching more TV shows about people's life (or romance) such as the taiwan long soap drama my sister loves so much, and not those thrillers or action films like x-men or transformers or blood gore stuffs.

I don't get it. Why is it that in society females are expected to behave and think in someway and males in a much more different way? Females are sometimes still prejudiced against. What is it about females that is inferior to males? We are all born a human right? If you go deep down the only difference between a male and female is that y or x (correct me if I'm wrong) chromosome thing in our DNA. And a few biological differences. So why is it that a female is expected to be able to marry a good man, raise a kid or two, manage the household and at the same time succeed in her career before others consider her a successful lady, yet a male only need to be successful at his career. Can't it be the other way round? The husband stay at home and take care of children while her wife work and support the family. And females are supposed to sit in a certain way (eg: legs together in this 淑女 way) and the males can just sit anyway they like.

The maleness and femaleness thing is so stupid! We are all born human, gender is just a exterior thing.

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes." They will say, "Women don't have what it takes." ~Clare Boothe Luce

I could have argued more, but Ms Tay cut my argument short and proceed on to talk about BGR, blahblahblah. Not interested in that. Rather amused by Ariel's ability to link her nuclear weapons/atomic bombs/chinese PSLE weightage to the whole talk.

Due to my outburst in class now everybody knows I am a feminist, or at least I support the movement. (except that I think females are superior over males).... (which is true because males, without the stupid old little brother there, are not males, while females are always females!)... (other forms of sexuality such as transexuals and bisexuals are weird)... (yet Fishy is a bi).

Dinner.

I think I am addicted to the thought of touching the keyboard and looking at the computer screen for hours, not the computer, so maybe there is still hope of quitting the addiction and starting mugging.

[Zhixin! Grace! Annie! whoever read this please tell me what is happening to Literature AA.]
[when and where are we meeting up?]

I want to hug a big big plushie and hide under my blanket and dream about swimming in a sea of chocolate and green tea ice-cream and sweet and eat sushis and spaghettis and pizza all day long. No big big plushie :'(  nightmares all day (of crappy stuffs).

I use to have this big big plushie in China (or it seems big to me since I was so small then).

Now I don't know where it is.

I'm losing things (like my ruler and this eraser and the plastic bag I put my PE shirt in after I change out and bigger things). I'm losing what I used to be (seriously quitting Jap has never crossed my mind till yesterday night). I don't want to lose my sanity.

I shall hug that monkey Carol gave me. Carol is the only one who gave me a plushie so touched.... (Fishy also very nice, treated me to food :D )

I really need to start being hardworking

Ah you see for about three weeks already, I keep telling myself: Study jap study jap, do revision do revision, finish all overdue homework, etc, yet I never do them. At this rate I will never get my RAs or pass jap!

Okay that is what I am supposed to finish by today.

That is what I actually done.

And I still have some homework to do, and stuffs to study. Ah... I like studying la, but the thing is computers are more fun! And then there's another thing about me getting tired so easily (I guessed it was lack of sleep, but I want to wake up earlier to watch Doraemon in the morning!) so I overdose on coffee (I drank two of those 3-in-1 Nestle coffee pack) even though I hate that aweful taste. Just want to keep awake. You see the last time (and the first time) I drank coffee was that horrible oral Wednesday and I was especially tired.

I thought coffee was supposed to keep people away, but those cheap coffee powder packs make me brain dead for one whole hour, and I was even more tired than before. So this is the last time I'm ever drinking again.

It seems that I was the only person in class who finished the Physics PT by Monday. Mr Goh said I just need to make some adjustments to the way I present the results and I can get high marks because all my other points stated in the discussions are relevant. And the best thing is I am allowed to exceed word limit (not too much though) because word limits are not very important :D

I decided to take Math and Physics RA next year. If I could get into them. I shall resolve to mug hard for them (and borrow math olympiad notes). I shall also mug jap (even though it means memorising stuffs).

Feeling very overwhelmed now, due to crappy Literature AA and crappy Jap Show&Tell and other more crappy stuffs like my sensei confiscating my storybook (I took it back from his desk afterwards during break, but he didnt give permission; ah I took it when he is not around, he didnt notice either). I hate my sensei even more now. I want the DBSK fangirling sensei back! Even though she makes me finish all the homework, at least she don't care if I pay attention during lessons. I will bring rotten stuffs next week for him to confisticate! Muahaha his desk will be full of rotten stuffs that smells and decay.

I still havn't settle my grouping for Literature AA, havn't decide what movie to do on, because I don't watch most of those in the list, but maybe I can do Percy Jackson (OH GREEK MYTHS). Titanic is out! I wonder why I can't do on X-men. X-men Origins: Wolverine is a nice movie to write a ballad about, since it is a tragedic story! Wolverine killed his dad, fall out with his brother, his lover got killed and he lost his memory. And he has the destructable metal inserted into his body and the metal covered his bones. And due to his mutation, he could heal from practically everything, which means he probably live for a really long time already. At the end of the movie, he lost his memory, and he live on for fifteen years, wandering about trying to remember who he is, until Professor Xavier found him. And stupid Stryker who caused Wolverine to be in this state didnt died until the second movie. ISN'T THAT TRAGIC??? WHY OH WHY ISN'T X-MEN IN THE LIST???!!!

I will started and finish all homework tomorrow! (i think)

Grades and Values

I cannot remember the exact question (my memory is failing me) but basically we have to write about how we think the school can provide a high grades and high values education to us.

I do remember not every one goes to school, in poorer, less-developed countries, it is their parents who holds the sole responsibility of teaching their kids everything they need to know in life. And similarly, I don't see why in urban countries, parents push all responsibilities of educating their children to the school and its teachers.

Who gave birth to us? The school? Then alright we will disown the parents. But no our parents gave birth to us. If they made the decision to give life to us, then they jolly well shoulder all responsibilities of raising us up, which includes teaching us everything we need to know in life. Parents, by right, should be the ones instilling values in us, imparting academic knowledge to us, assisting us in our life's journey. However, the stressful world we are living in left our parents with less time and energy to pass on academic knowledge to us, beside, they are usually not skilled in all the different areas, which is where the school comes in. The school hires professionals, those who are better in the different areas of academic studies, called the teachers, to aid our parents in giving us an holistic education. They will take charge of our studies, our parents just need to instill the right values and morals in us, and discipline us well.

This is what many parents failed to do so. They are shirking responsibility, pushing everything to the teachers and school, asic stuffs like home economics (cooking, etc) and even more basic stuffs like moral education. The school is nice enough to use one period every week to teach and educate the students on moral and values, and us students take it for granted. The school is nice enough to provide resources and opportunities for the students to give back to society, and parents complaint about how stressful it is for the students.

Once again, school's fault.

Dear demanding parents, why don't you just think about it for once, why did you give birth to your child. You could have use birth control measures you know, or just not indulge in natural pleasures, but since you want to, you have to bear all responsibilities. You are supposed to be in charge of all aspects of your child, yet the school offers to help, and now you decide, yeah, you can push everything to them. Don't you think it is easy for the school to raise 2000 over kids/teenagers, when you are already complaining about how tiring it is to raise one? Think about it.

Students are responsible for their own attitudes and actions. They are going to be adult one day. If you are shirking all responsibilities to the school, blaming it for everything, do you think your kids, when they become adults, will know how to shoulder responsibilities?

You, parents, are supposed to raise us, and now everyone is pushing all the work to the school.

Now another point. The recent article Sandra Leong wrote is saying that if the elites were snobbish and proud, it would be the school's fault.

Again, the school's fault.

So where's the role parents play in our education? Writing complain letters to the MOE? What are they teaching the students? That school is responsible for their whole life? That we are not to respect the teachers? That if anything goes wrong it would be the school's fault?

Back to the elites point. Just because we are blessed with a good mind and government are paying to provide us with a high education doesn't mean we don't know humility and looks down on others we thought to be inferior to us. Education and degrees doesn't mean anything. They don't represents our character. Having a better education doesn't mean we are snobs or proud people. It just mean we will grow up and give back more to the society.

Instead of saying we look down on you because you are from a neighbourhood school, why not ask yourself, why do you steorotype against us because we are from an elite school.

Why is speaking perfect english a bad thing? Don't government promotes speaking good english? Besides, that is the standard, correct form of english, and 'singlish' is a mixed of different languages unintelligible to others who don't know the Singapore culture.

We may be elites, but we are not elitist. We don't look down on others inferior to us in education and minds, but we will definitely look down on those inferior to us in characters and morals.

What's wrong with going to a elite school? Humans different, but all fairly created. Some may be better in academics, but other may be better in arts or music. Even a retard like Charlie Gordon has an innocent and pure mind, something we all wish for, yet couldn't get. It's just that the world we are living in now, the society we are working in now stressed on our academic results. So the government have to pick out those better in that area, and train them so that they can reach their full potential. Is that wrong? If given a chance for you to reach your full potential in areas you are talented in, who won't jump for it?

You may give up on your studies because you don't like it, you don't want it, but we like it, we want it, and we want the best ones. It's human nature to want and desire the best.

Population Control

I love Geography! (because of the subject not the teacher unlike Fishy. Ms Wong is nice but I defnitely do not fangirl over her unlike Fishy and her Ms Hoo nonsense).

Geography today was fabulously, fantastically, wonderfully, brilliantly awesome! And that's an understatment. Since the Geography exam was over on Wednesday we are of course starting on the new topic, which is Population Studies. Climates, Natural Vegetation and Deforestation are fun topics and interesting in a way but Population Studies is what I've been looking forward to ultimately. (and the cool thing is PT is also on Population studies, aging population but nonetheless POPULATION!!!).

Ahem, so at first I was like huh what is this worksheet being passed around, and I see Lee Kwan Yew on the handout which instantly reminds me of the crappy essay I wrote on LKY and Edison Chen being his distant cousin and contracting AIDS using ten chengyus. But er back to topic.

Ms Wong gave us the that three pages handout includes a table of the world population (together with number of births and deaths which shows that birth grossly exceeds deaths).

Seeing world-population related stuffs, I started hyperventilating and telling Grace excitedly about all the stuffs I know on population. And I got very responsive during lessons of course (I somehow forgot that there are classmates around so was feeling rather embarressed and awkward when I stop hyperventilating and realised that the whole class is there while I tell Ms Wong about my interest in world population comes from a novel).

After lessons ended (was given five minutes before assembly to arrange the tables for Math and Literature SAs on Monday), I went up to Ms Wong and ask if we are learning about China's one-child policy next week. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

MS WONG SAID YES.

more :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

During the two hours (I doubling Earth hour!) which I switched off the lights and computer and television in the house, Charmaine called me (or I called her -forgot-) and we got into a 'debate' on China's one-child policy and the positive and negative impacts of it.(seriously I don't know how to debate so it end up with me giving Charmaine all the facts I memorised and Charmaine interrupting me with the moral issues regarding this policy then we digressed to don't know where).

Can't wait for next Wednesday! (if I remember correctly I have Geography next Wednesday!) xDDDDD

----

The 1200 words-Commonwealth Essay I wrote on Mad Scientist end up with 700 words talking about the importance of population control and the dire consequences of overpopulation, and only a mere 200 words on how the scientist decide to solve the problem himself because world governments reacts very slowly, how he tested fatal fungis on human subjects and how he ordered mass bombings. Then the remaining 300 words makes up the starting paragraph and the conclusion (in which I said that the scientist was respected after a few centuries).

8 billion people were killed in my essay in year 2050 when the world population is 10.6 billion, which means 20% or so survived. But it is considered good, because once the world population reached the critical point over 90% of the world population will be wiped out (or so it says in my book lol).

Overpopulation is a world issue. Important! It's one of the main cause of global warming as trees are being cut down in the forest to make way for agricultural land and building houses? Why? To feed the growing population. Because the world needs food. (houses are of course for the people to live in because there are too many people packed in too small space).


The thing is many people (most people) failed to recognise this problem and take measures against it. Any signs of population control will be mistook for eugenics.

I thought my essay was quite good considering the fact that I wrote it in 50 minutes late at night the day before school reopens. Even though it digresses a lot and I probably made tons of grammar mistakes. (until now my grammar ain't good).

I hope Ms Tay won't be too shock by the number of deaths in the essay.

[lol people are calling me sadistic.]

---

Everyone here is recommended to read Doomsday Key by James Rollins!!!:D

GEOGRAPHY!!!

[I'm trying out for geography RA next year too!]

GEOGRAPHY!!!!

POPULATION CONTROL!!!!!!!
YAY!!!!

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Red Cross sucks to the core.

I don't care what they say about discouraging others from joining this CCA. The truth is, others are discourage from joining it LONG ago. At least those from my class (if they ever plan to change CCA, or at least they will tell their juniors about how bad this whole CCA is). Since the teacher's session don't work, and the CCA is getting even worse, I see no need in trying to be participative or respecting the seniors anymore. They don't deserve my respect, and today, I am going to write down here, point by point, why this CCA so suck, and why this CCA in other schools are so awesome.

1. We are supposed to greet the people older than us (year 3s and year 4s) 'senior' (last time it was ma'am). According to them the 'rationale' behind it was because we are supposed to show respect for the seniors. To put it simply, if we address them seniors and put the word 'senior' behind every sentence to say to them, we are showing respect for them. Can I ask you what kind of logic is that? The seniors are students. They should know that calling teachers Mr or Mrs or Mdm or Ms don't necessarily mean that they respect and like the teachers, and this is exactly what is happening here. I have no respect for the seniors.

2. Saying that the seniors treat the juniors (us, sec 2s) negatively is an understament. They are not just negative, but mean, sarcastic, sadistic, biased, nasty, you name it. I remember when one of the seniors talk to me during the OCBC Cycle event where we are doing our first aid duty, she said that addressing the seniors and being formal is part of the Red Cross tradition, and it should be maintain, not eradicated, because it is how we show respect for the seniors. My point now here isn't about eradicating whatever traditions they want to keep, but about how they expect us to show respect from them. Respect isn't something easily obtain, or else, tell me why, during the Japanese Occupation in WW2, the Japanese make everyone greet them, but ultimately we all hated them. It's not very often that historical figures are revered and respected. Those like Confucius, respected not for their talent, but because they treated everyone nicely and fairly. And that is so unlike the seniors. Respect is two-way. If they want us to respect them, they should respect us too.

3. The seniors are biased, strongly biased in fact, towards the more participative juniors. I do understand there are always instances in life where you prefer something to something else, but personal feelings should not be mixed with school and CCAs. Even I don't do that, no matter how strong my distaste is for them. You see, it so happens that one of the yearmate (of course, the more participative ones) want to stuck up to the seniors, but the only way she can do that is of course pull down and sabotage the less participative yearmate, so she told the seniors that the victim is planning to play truancy and skip CCA. That, of course, is wrong, but the truth is that victim is not planning to do that, and she did turn up for CCA trainings. But the seniors, being biased, decides to record the 'offence' (how could something not even done be an offence I really don't get) down and didnt even ask the victim for an explanation. Do they fail at history? If not, they should know that in SEQ, we are supposed to provided a two-sided answer at least to pass, and they actually believe a one-sided point of the story.

4. That, of course, is not all. Should I also say that they are sarcastic and really mean? This is one incident, the one I will remember for life, to prove it. It so happens that the day before CCA phototaking, I couldn't find my uniform, so I told the seniors nicely that I couldn't find it, and they got an extra uniform for me. However, after I change out of the uniform after phototaking and return to the seniors, three of the seniors approached me, one of which is Hazel Lau. They asked me in an authorative tone how I lost my uniform (when I plainly said that I couldn't find it, and it wasn't lost). After a few more rounds of questions, which I told the that I couldn't find the uniform after ironing it the night before, Hazel asked me this rather offending question: "What sort of flat do you live in that could make you lost your uniform?". Of course this is digressing, and the type of flat I lived in is a private thing, which means I can choose not to answer it, especially when she has a mocking tone to it, and I don't see how it relates to my uniform. Then, she continue on throwing a series of insults, one of which: You live in those common 4-room flats, isn't it? Oh I wonder how you could lost your uniform in those type of small flats. It ain't like you are so rich anyway, you don't live in a big mansion." And you can see that this is a insult. It is most offending for me to hear it of course, because she is mocking my family condition and assuming that I am a poor girl who lives in a small flat. And I did not answer it again, of course. Which is why, now, they assumes I have an attitude problem, because they are mean to me, and I didn't scold bad (which is exceptionally good already, considering my temper I could have punch her right in the face).

5. I wrote the art fest script out, nicely, spending almost two days (8 hours per day) choosing the right songs for the script, making sure it runs smooth and naturally. I review it over and over again, making sure the whole script has feelings, that there is enough lines to show the personality of a character, and not have it end up as a typical lousy Singaporean drama. And the results of my efforts? All the nice parts removed from my script, including the finale song I spend over 2 hours searching for, all the important part of the plot removed, all the effects removed, leaving it just a dry script with no feelings. And all this are of course done by the seniors, without my permission. Firstly, the nature of this competition, every year do their own items. It's a year thing, meaning the sec 2 do our work, the sec 3 do theirs, the sec 4 do theirs and we DON'T collide. However it seems that the sec3s are too free, they have to come over and poke into our performance item, when however it turns out will not affect them at all, and it's defintely none of their business. Yet they control what we do and the way the script goes, and every prop we make requires their approval. Dare I say, they are not respecting me or my efforts put into the writing of this script, but removing all the important parts just two days before the auditions. Must they be so controlling that even our own competition requires their approval? If they want to do this, in the first place, they should just write the script and do the props for us. Isn't it?

This five points are not the worse they did to me, or the other juniors. However, if they, the seniors, happen to read this, I don't really care. Because I tolerated them, but they are really too much this time round. And if I were to invite the juniors and my friends to join such a terrible CCA like this and be tortured by those seniors, I would be then, the most sadistic, most hypocritic person ever lived, no worse than Adolf Hitler.

biking

Thanks to my grandpa my blue mountain bike is finally fixed and I name it fishbrains after the fishbrains I ate when I was five (not to be confused to balloon fishbrains, name after my bff Fishy, who died tragically with his wife Pimple, Fishy's balloons, named after my...er. acne problem-.- Poor Pimple is pregnant with Fishbrain's balloon juniors when the mean old lady at the OCBC cycle event popped it.).

So since today I was supposed to go back to school to waste time away at this year meeting for art fest (seriously ___ and ___ are dumb la. And not cooperative at all. I work so hard and came up with the script and they refuse to act &;*(#$?!^/). Then fucking seniors too. Hello they think they very artistic is it? I wrote the directions so clearly on the script and THEY FUCKING TELL ME PEOPLE CANT JUST SING STANDING THERE MUST HAVE ACTIONS. WHAT THE FUCK LA THEY CANNOT SEE MY STAGE DIRECTIONS AH? I WROTE THE ACTIONS SO CLEARLY IN ARIAL FONT 11 OKAY. I mean like what kind of shit actions can they come up with anyway, oh like maybe for somewhere over the rainbow you have people shaking their hands up and down to show 'bluebirds flying'? And they got the guts to tell us to decide on lighting after the auditions (according to them its damn important) when I already told Navitha about it. I was telling her when they burst into the room at J2 Shared Classroom and started throwing insults all around the place. Ahh... just so you have experience means you can anyhow tell people what to do is it? I doubt your script last year is even as nice as mine okay. So stop crapping to me about how we should have background music. And, just for whoever those two are, idiotic Isabelle and Ruoxi, I warned you, do not incurred my wrath again I'm telling you straight here (yeah I know you will definitely see this because seniors are always stalking juniors on blogs, I don't know how they got all the free time when they are telling us: "Oh, I'm so busy therefore please do not blahblahblah.") I DO NOT BURST INTO YOUR CLASSROOM UPSTAIRS AND TELL YOU HOW LOUSY YOUR DANCE OR SINGING OR WHATEVER SHIT IS, AND I DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE: "You will rehearse to us on Friday so that we can comment on your acting." SO YOU DO NOT DO THAT TO US. I know how suck our stuffs are, but that doesn't apply to me and the others. This CCA really sucks okay I don't know how the teachers could get our message wrong. I do not want to greet the seniors altogether because it's the most stupid thing ever and in the first place, not even a tradition, and I don't get how it makes me respect them because I would definitely respect them more if they weren't so mean and sarcastic and make us greet them. So changing ma'am to senior is even worse. NOBODY EVEN LIKES IT OKAY. And you assholes even though I wasn't at E-camp but according to other people who went there the seniors were more horrible. Imagine picking up pubis hair at the toilet. It's the most unhygenic thing ever, and you cannot forced people to do that. And you don't expect people to turn their heads around and check on the sec 1 juniors if you expect them to PAY ATTENTION. It's contradicting. If I were at the E-camp I would have exploded and come up with smart comebacks. I do understand the juniors are err, not that respectful (scolding back seniors) but I think hor, the seniors (as in us sec 2) also responsible. Plus, I wanted to scold the seniors don't know how many times lao because they always pick on mistakes that ain't even there or scold me for things I don't do. It's not the effing tradition that has a problem. It's the whole attitude of OH HEY I'M YOUR SENIOR I RULE OVER YOU YOU LISTEN TO ME I'M ALWAYS RIGHT BECAUSE I'M YOUR SUPERIOR. How old are they? At most 2 years older, and it's not even exactly 2 years, if you count by months. Whatever give them the permission to book us anyway? If they could just change their whole freaking attitude everything would be so much better. Like today I nicely greeted the seniors for once and they pretend not to hear. WTF. Oh so since they cannot hear, should we still greet? I mean they are obviously deaf and cannot hear right? So why should we greet deaf people? I mean, they don't have to greet back, but there isn't even a sign of acknowledgement which means they didnt hear right?

Er back to the point. I cycled over to lakeside MRT, so of course I have to cycle back, and since Fishy is coming my house,  I decide to bike her to my house. Meaning she sit at the back of the bike and I biked her and me. Er we dump our bags and her delightful bubble tea at the basket at the front, and since I'm those sort of people who failed at balancing, we er, took 1 hour to get home, and its even faster to walk home. Ah... and we fell more than 50 times on the way.

The way back to MRT (me bringing Fishy home) was slightly easier, since we practised much on the way home so I could cycle for longer distances without falling, but I still couldn't turn around the corner when she's sitting behind me, nor ride over bumps because we also fall after the bumps, and Fishy's bum got hurt. And er, Fishy can't talk sick stuffs too because somehow we will fall, like when Fishy commented on this couple hugging in public and we fell and got scratched/bruised??

But er, no one fractured their bones or got concussion so YAY :D

[untitled]

This is so true. (from megan's blog)

school#45 '10

I have tons of homework for the march holiday. The meaning of  'holiday' is horribly screwed up by the MOE people and schoolteachers.

holiday noun
a time, often one or two weeks, when someone does not go to work or school but is free to do what they want, such as travel or relax

Note the word relax. Now I see that piles of worksheet equals relaxation.

---

I hate it that people just take so long to climb the rock wall and act scared for 10 minutes or so before climbing. On friday during PE lessons this asshole was acting scared for 10 minutes when she had prepared everythign already (plus its not the first time she tried the lane four wall) and in the end I couldn't climb it. (waste of time)

My work schedule is pretty messed up. For the past two weeks or so; from monday to friday: Go school, come home, sleep no matter if there is homework or not, chiong homework last minute. And I got no idea how people like Sarah or Crystal could cope with all their commitments.

I don't even sleep well nowadays. Basically I get nightmares like being trapped in a wide, semi-dark, staircase and I see my sister occasionally but only the back of her. Then I will wake up covered in sweat and being sleepy for the rest of the day. Either that or I won't even be able to fall asleep at night. My sleeping pattern is screwed up too. I need counselling help seriously.

Oh well I failed my jap CA1 again. Not much surprise actually. At the rate I'm going now I don't even get enough rest so I don't really think I would be able to survive this year. I probably can't get promoted to sec3. The not-enough-sleep and insomia and nightmares are affecting me quite badly because: my math skill and calculating speed have obviously went down, my memory is getting worse, I feel tired all the time, I'm getting paranoid, I can't think straight, I feel like shutting myself away from the rest of the world and sleep all day long.



























I just want to know, why are some people born with perfect, supportive parents while others have parents who don't even know or care about what is going in your life, and don't really care much that about the stress one faced in school and anywhere else, just because back in their time, back in their country, school was easy for them. I mean I know I am not born multi-talented (or even mildly talented), but I do need support too, and you are not being understandable when you assumes things about me all the time. I know you think I'm not being considerate about your feelings, but I need more time than whoever else in the family to adapt to such a huge change, because I hate it when you are so happy around others and moody around me. You never ask about my school, how it was, and all the time you just blame me for not managing my time properly, and assumes I'm pretending to have sleeping difficulties or is under huge amount of pressure in order to get your attention. No it is not a pretense it is real it is there. And I really need to talk to you about it. I don't know how to continue on. I really don't know how anymore.

school#40 '10

I wonder how I'm ever going to cope with all the work in secondary three (especially if I wanted Math RA) when I can't even manage it well in secondary two.

School now and school in back then last year seem totally different now. Academic-wise I'm should be expecting a certain level of stress (since I'm aiming for RA Math and trying not to fail japanese). Just that people are getting very complicated and I'm finding social interactions confusing. I don't get why people say this and do another thing or break promises (making empty promises). Misunderstanding is so common nowadays. Or maybe that's just because my class is a bad mixture of different types of people.

Rock climbing today was quite frustrating. -no offence- but some people climb quite slow and not high emough and I feel a bit annoyed, plus the long time they took to tie knots and wear the harnest. The reason why I like rock climbing and feel slightly better during that lesson is because I get a rush of adrenaline when I could go very high and people are all ant-liked to me and that's the one time I feel superior to others and free of worries.

Most of the time I get inferior complex because those classmates of mine are multi-talented and I feel dumb next to them.

Math was okay. At least math has rule and patterns and every math problem has a way out. Unlike the shitpile I'm getting now.

There's aethetics tomorrow. I'm going to concentrate on making my clock.

school#19 '10

I'm supposed to be doing Jap e-learning now but I don't feel like doing so. O:

I didn't get selected for Guides D: so I decide to laugh at seniors during trainings. So Wednesday's CCA went like this: Assemble in a really dumb and humiliating footdrill, got back the general papers and admit to cheating, pon whole of PT and Uniform Inspection due to headache and stomachache and nausea (headache because I slept at 1am plus on tuesday and the rest are common stuffs I get after running 8 rounds around the Amphitheatre), watch the seniors get scolded by the hairy and tall but nice male teacher (I think is the other teacher IC) because he thought that they are forcing the weaker group of people to do unreasonable vigorous exercises, male teacher ask me about my condition and I told him I can't do vigorous stuffs, seniors got super nice to me (esp the year 5s who came back. Sally ma'am ask me if I need to eat :D and she can buy some food for me), seniors told me very nicely to tell them the next time if I cannot do the PTs and ask me what part of it I couldn't take, learn CPR which I learnt already during the sec1 first aid course, sign booking thing (about the GP cheating) and went home with Fishy. Ate mashed potato.

Thursday: I forgot (or didnt know at all from the start) that it was the IHG opening ceremony so of course didn't came in house tee (together with Grace). Bucket's banner was completely green, I don't like the Richardson's despite it being blue and Waddle's banner is cute xD The duckie footprints are ubber cute XD

S&D was okay okay. I have to pronouce 'theme' and 'thong' in front of everyone and my pronunciation is bad (unlike my sister who went for classes) so I didn't have confidence to pronounce it; besides, I ai mian zi. I end up err-ing there and not say anything at all (also 'cause I hate talking in front of so many people) and feel my legs go jelly. Ms Debbie called me back after class and ask me to speak up more during class. :\

During English we are supposed to think of the hiddden meaning of words like: "figure" and "fuller" so I suggested 'hour-glass figure' and 'seductive'. whole class went O.O and :O. :p

ICT was kind of ._. due to the acne removal exercise on this ugly lady who had hair all over her mouth and blue eyeshadows. I accidentally photoshopped eyes all over the face in place of acnes and hair too -.-

Jap. Sensei suddenly forgot my name and stop picking on me, only refer to name list before she pick on me which means she don't know my name and need to see the name list to call me :]  Sensei somehow got sick of Big Bang in two weeks and start fan-girling all over DBSK. She had five pictures of that band on the powerpoint slide while she explain to us how to state a few reasons for a statement (eg, She loves DBSK because they can dance, they look handsome -ハンサム- and they speak jap well.) before proceeding onto two youtube videos showing us how DBSK dance and speak jap well. Wanqi told me that she put those videos under the e-learning portal's "for good" folder o.o

Friday: I went to school myself today and saw Ms Debbie on the bus -shock-. I got too engross in listening to mp3 music and forgot take out the ear phone and off mp3 when I walked into the school gate. Realised it only when I walked into the foyer. The prefect was staring at me so I quickly removed the ear phones. I think she hadn't realised that yet. Being absent-minded I forgot to off the MP3 and it went on playing music until I took it out again after school (5 or 7 hours later). Waste of batteries.

During assembly the Pink Lemonde Carolyn lady talk about her book. Not being sadistic or mean but her book cover seem like those high school bimbo books instead of one talking about how a lady overcame numerous obstacles. People are so enthu in taking photos with her o.-

After school I went back to rulang (which was damn awkward awkward because I saw the sec1 juniors who came back too and Mdm Chng and 符老师) to talk to teachers regarding my sister's cca stuffs. I feel more daring talking to my ex-cca teacher. The instructers seems shock to see me there.

Evil Fishy refused to go back with me :'(

I saw Ms Wong's original hairstyle in a photo at the foyer and it was really short and she don't look like my geography teacher.

homework left to do:
- 1 more math algebra question (I got really pissed off with adding and subtracting of algebra fractions so I left one question undone)
- chinese newspaper cutting on outer and inner beauty
- english taglines analysis
- jap (?)
- some math journal question that even melissa didnt bother to copy down

things left to do:
- sleep more
- eat more
- gain weight
- start reading the book I borrowed from class library

school#15 '10

Singapore's education system sucks. You spend your whole childhood and adolscence in school, doing worksheets after worksheets, completing assignments after assignments, taking examinations after examinations, studying and studying till midnight, sleep, go school and study all over again. From primary one to primary six, from secondary one to secondary four, from junior college to university. Your whole life is just studying and studying and working. Get a diploma, find a job, and work even harder than before. That is life as such in Singapore. That is the life of a typical Asian. Which basically equals no life at all.

Example, the life of a secondary student like me:
Monday - Go school, come home and do homework, eat dinner, study, bathe and sleep.
Tuesday - Read Monday.
Wednesday - Go school, get stressed out by stupid CCA, come home and eat dinner, do homework till midnight, bathe and sleep.
Thursday - Read Wednesday, replace CCA with third language.
Friday - Read Tuesday.
Saturday - Study, do homework and play computer for the whole day. Get bugged by younger siblings.
Sunday - Art lesson in the morning (YAY YAY YAY XD) Come home and study, use computer.
And on it went, until the holidays that never last.

Therefore, I can proudly conclude I have no life too.
At least, back in China (according to mother), students have a life. The school don't entirely focus on academics. When my mum is attending school back in China, they develop the pupils all-roundedly, in sports, arts, music, dance, and many more. Which is why my mum can swim, cycled, play badminton, tennis, table tennis, dance, sing, draw. And my mum is also good in mathematics and chinese (i mean china of course). But I only know how to draw. And paint sucky paintings. My math is soooo lousy compared to those people in my class.

Despite what the school say about developing pupils all-roundedly, it's only talk and nothing done. I MEAN HELLO IF THEY BOTHER DEVELOPING PUPILS IN ALL AREAS WHY MUST WE HAVE STUPID CCA? IN CHINA SCHOOLS THEY DON'T HAVE CCA EVERYTHING IS EFFING INCLUDED IN THE CURRICULUM. And why the heck must they select people for CCA. Why can't we students just choose whatever CCA we like and stick by it instead of going for CCA trials?? I mean they want to develop pupils in their talents yeah? If they freaking cancel away the selection trials things and allow us to choose our area of interest and the CCA we think we have talent in then I won't be stuck in the effing Red Cross (which I felt no sense of belonging to, the seniors were fierce, mean, demanding and unreasonable) and could go for photography lessons instead!

And the lesson and draggy and long too, with useless activities (example drawing Singapore tree during history) and useless syllables (example Singapore's short and useless history taught to us throughout primary school instead of War World I/II where we could really learn from past mistake and those are definitely more interesting then wasting time learning about...once again Singapore's short and useless history repeated throughout primary school) and defintely useless textbooks (example YES the stupid history textbook which spend one whole chapter talking about immigrants to Singapore which of course we are already very familiar with due to Social Studies in primary school. And all the chapters wasted on talking about climate change and teaching it in Geography when they are not applying what they said in real life. Instead of wasting papers and chopping down poor trees to print useless textbooks telling us about Singapore's short and boring history which we already learnt in primary school, why can't they just teach us about War World I/II so that we could learn from past mistakes and not make them again? Isn't that what they taught us in the useless History syllables last year? And gory videos of wars are much more entertaining than watching cartoons about a little mice get lost in New York.).

Okay I just hate the history syllables in RGS,

And is there no one taking triple science and geography next year?? D: I actually wish that RGS offers interesting courses like photography lessons. Or symbology. Or religionogy (or whatever you call study of religions). Or psychology. Or talks on unsolved mysteries of the world.

And I sincerely hope that I will get into Guides.

school#14 '10

I feel so useless. During math class everyone are so pro and finished up the whole worksheet before I've even done one question. I'm not even interested in History. Why can't we learn something interesting and meaningful like Adolf Hitler or China's five thousand years of history instead of some dumbdumb Singapore history about San Nila Utama spoting a donkey drowning in the sea and mistook it for a merlion? And then rusty Raffles came onto the island and damned the hardworking Faquar. Ms Wong missed two lessons with us so now I'm afraid that the Geography lesson is going too slow and I flunk the exams. Chinese is as usual... I hate writing compo. English and Literature are like: argh I don't bother to study. What's there to mug anyway. Physics is simply boring other than the part when I play with mirrors(mirrors mirrors!) during laboratory lessons.

I seriously feel like quitting jap. I don't understand a single thing. Okay I am starting to understand a few things but I still feel like quitting. Sensei was in a good mood on thursday though (she found a boyfriend??) so I wasn't picked on. And Sensei likes the Korean band 'Big Bang' which she pronounced as 'Bigu Ban'. My classmate inferred it from the several pictures of Big Bang on almost every single powerpoints she used.

Rock wall climbing is fun. But I was tired (like seriously so damn tired that I fell asleep during PE, Chinese, recess, English -alittle- and most of assembly). And my leg feels deprived of energy. So when I went to tell Mrs Ong that I forgot to bring the PE attire (and jacket!) today she excused me, saying that I look like I'm not feeling well and suggest I take a rest. So I missed climbing the challenging panels :'(

As a result of 'forgot to bring jacket' I feel damn cold throughout the whole day and being extremely sensitive to cold-ness doesn't help at all. To make the matter worse, I spend rest of the money yesterday buying chocolate muffins (yummy!) at MOELC. And also one buck some days back on green tea ice-cream. So during  recess I stay back in the classroom and rush Chinese homework (which I didn't manage to complete the day before due to third language and some other matters that results in being ground from the computer on weekdays but since mum is in a good mood today, this friday isn't considered a weekday today - okay this doesn't make sense), but end up sleeping for a while so I decide to ask 张老师 for extension and she allowed it! 张老师 is so nice :D

We have this rather interesting game for CLE. Basically we write out names on a small slip of paper (Ms Debbie commented that mine was TINY) and put into this tray like thing and then everyone will pick a name out. Then we will just stalked whoever's name we got. Example A got B's name so A stalks B for the rest of  the year until A is invited up to the front of the classroom during a particular CLE lesson to describe the positive points of B that A found out about B within the stalking period. Only then will B's identity be divulged. So before then I'm keeping my stalkee's (meaning person i'm stalking) identity a secret. But the name is written in code in my notebook. Except you need the stalkee's name to break the code and learn the stalkee's name and her characteristics.

Grace refused to stalk her stalkee.

So do I.

I feel damn hungry now even after eating finish that one big bowl of grapes and some dates. I want noodles!!! Because my maid's cooking (not insulting her but this is the truth) is pretty horrendous and I wished my grandpa is here to cook for me instead.

There's Guides interview with the teacher today. I tried my best and say as much as I could (resulting in my legs turning soft because I was too nervous and I don't like interviews) but I'm still feeling pessimistic about it. Fishy sounds so zilian in the answers WAHAHA.

Aesthetics was okay okay (fun because I always like art stuffs anyway and boring because the teacher is explaining what I already knew but I can't blame her because the other people don't know). Teacher got me to use Claude Monet's water lily (ithink) painting (the one without bridges) to paint on the mirror frame (actually I don't get the point of a mirror frame. I want a photo frame. Mirror frames have no use.). Drawing balls (sketching and shading) was sort of fun too! But my pencil seems weird weird, especially with my -ahem- blue tape wrapped around it I cannot sharpen it with the normal sort of sharpeners. But no worries! Starting on painting next week. I wish it was water colour since my acrylic painting really suck. Okay Verne and Charmaine and Nicole and Zhixin(if I remember correctly) and the teacher commented that my colour blending thing is nice. But I just can never paint trees. I can do water colour painting for trees very well but in acrylic I just always screwed up.

---

I want a blue nice pencil case with pretty designs and a set of blue files (clear folders) or a blue expanding folder with pretty blue pictures and designs. Then a cute blue water bottle and a set of blue notebooks. Nice blue stationeries are also accepted :D
Finally I want a pair of blue sneakers with pretty designs (again) and light blue laces.

tagsreplies:

Fishy: Humph I bet Carol will stand on MY side muah haha.
No I don't think she will be standing on anyone's side.

Annie: SCAN IN THE MEI NV (YOU) I DREW ON YOUR NOTEBOOK TODAY! AND TAG IT AS ME XINGYUE THE AWESOME MWAHAHAHA
OHOH OKAY I will scan it in ASAP. Cheer up!

Charmaine: Wahahaha the joke rocks
xDDDDD There are more jokes at that website where I got it.

ninghui: hey:) haha i read through the cyberspace post and started cracking up
Lol lol thanks :DDDD I guess I was hyper when writing that post.

CHAR: Yay now I have one tag in blue and the other in black
CHAR: YOU CHANGED BloGSKIN
Hmmm I simply changed the background to a blue one!

Fishy: AHAHA I LIKE THE POEM CHEM!
Fishy: *commits suicide and joins MJ in heaven*
Fishy: DEPRESSED MY FORM TEACHER IS MRS ROSLINDA FREAKING CHAN!!
ERRRRRR I think people named Mrs Chan are generally scary and freakish and boring? Like example out primary Mrs Chan. #&;%(($#^! Err, Chem practical is fun but I like bio more. You can't dissect hearts in Chem.

Nanshan: aye xingyue! tagged and see you tomorrow :D:D
See you... many weeks ago!

b.ying: z.
z. back! Ridiculous person:D

Dying of hunger...

- the poor girl

school#12 '10

Claude Monet's paintings are...amazingly complicated? All famous artist's paintings are complicated and difficult to paint out, of course, but I wished I got some other guy whose paintings are made up of geometrical shapes instead of like random lilies in a pond. Or someone who actually paints mostly blue paintings (?) 'cause I would be more motivated to do the painting better! OR DA VINCI. Except the teacher didn't even offered it as a choice. I guess his paintings are mostly sacriligious (is this the right word?) or ahem censored.

____ sounds like a pedo. He says that changing in the classroom after PE is a form of sexual harrassment to him or any other male teachers. Hello if RGS bothers to clean the toilet properly or have some form of changing room I need not change in the classroom in fear.

WTF.

And do he seriously thinks any one would want to seduce him? He's constipated looking and ugly and fat, I doubt even the most despo classmate of mine would want to seduce him.

I pon CCA once again. But I really hope I get in Guides. There's no mean seniors and more interesting tings, even if it means being Joanne's junior and a lot of things to be memorised. I prayed for Me, Fishy and Carol to get in (carol 'cause we can mad around and annoyed fishy).

I feel like giving up blogging. Not much time to do so.

school#9 '10

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by msaying "T-G-I-F."

He smiled at her and replied "S-H-I-T." She looked at him, puzzled, and said "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering "S-H-I-T." The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest msmile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F" another time. The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression,"S-H-I-T."

The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, T-hank G-oodness I-ts F-riday; get it?" The man answered, "S-H-I-T, S-orry H-oney, I-t's T-hursday."

http://jokediary.com/index.htm

Oh yes I woke up on Thursday morning at 5.30am (mum's not bringing me to school today) thinking that it was Friday until I see the whole blue blag of jap textbook (and other materials) on my desk and realised that it was actually Thursday and I had a whole day of school (third language till 7).

I manage to wake up with snoozing alarms because usually I would snooze it several time and woke up 10 to 15 minutes late (which explains why I am always nearly late for morning assemblies). Feeling pretty please with myself (for waking up early) I gobbled down breakfast and prepared for school. End up stoning in the room for 15 minutes after I changed into school uniform and when I rushed down to the bus stop I missed the first bus so I waited there for the second one (saw someone who I feel very tempted to punch and break nose of). I stoned again, staring at the floor and didnt realise the second bus went off until a few minutes later, by then it was too late.

I decide to take the expensive expressway bus to school. I was supposed to get down at BORDERS and walked to school since that bus don't turn into the road where RGS's located at. Unfortunately I fell asleep on the bus (it's rarely I get any chance to have a nice sleep on the bus since I usually have to change to another bus) and went all the way to Takashimaya. Thankfully I have excellent navigation skills so despite the dark (it was early in the monring) I manage to walk back to RGS, and on time too. But by the time I reached I was perspiring profusely.

After morning assembly me and Grace met *#!$^& at the flagpole. I only knew then that the flagpole refers to the area where flags are tied to two sticks stuck to the floor. I used to think it was flatpole -.-

Thursday went on like blahblahblah. Ms Debbie was absent so charmaine, annie and I talk nonsense during English period.

Afterwards was jap lessons. I am beginning to hate my teacher who 1. threatens to call parents if one fails the jap test/quiz 2. not let anyone who havn't finish their homework go home after classes therefore must stay in class with her after jap ends and complete their homework 3. I was only slightly late for class after break last week and this week (HELLO SHE SPEND BREAK TIME MAKING US DO WORKSHEETS AND END UP ONLY THREE MINUTES FOR BREAK DO SHE EXPECT ME TO POO FINISH IN THREE MINUTES?) so she scolded me and warned me that if I were to be late next week I have to stay back. I shall test it. If she dare make me stay back I would just go off. 谁怕谁. If she were to complain to my mum and I can just tell mum how she give us only three minutes break when we are supposed to be given 15 minutes (even pooing takes 5 minutes okay). 4. She only allows us to go home if we can say some weird jap words. So obviously I have slow reaction time. But no matter I can lodge a complaint against her some day if she incurred my wrath. 5. She only tell us the homework on saturdays, through MOELC webpage, which pissed me off because most people are free on friday nights and can do the work instead of waiting till saurdays.

From the above threats she make I can tell that 1. She loves threatening students and gaining control of them (worse than any teacher I've encounter so far. Even Mrs Chan don't do this to me) so that explains why 2. She has no boyfriend/husband/family/LIFE because if she do have any of those then she wouldn't stayed back after class (that was near dinnertime) and make students do work. 3. She is unreasonable and evil 4. She is probably hundred times more sadistic that I am.

Years of experience taught me how to deal with this sort of teachers. Haha teachers like her just want to gain absolute control of their students and inability to do so makes them pissed off. So if whole class rebels and stuffs she would just break down and cry. What I am going to do the next lesson/in the future (depending on my mood): Be late for lessons after break again if she dare to shorten the break time too much; speak freaking softly/loudly (shout and burst her eardrums); keep asking obvious questions and make her annoyed; lied that I have no access to MOELC webpage because the my computer broke down, had no time to use the school computer during recess and lunch because I have to find teachers and cannot stay back after school due to stuffs like CCA and cannot ask the classmates because most of them are from HCI and I don't have the girls' contact numbers. I'll see what she will do to me kekeke.

Friday went like blahblahblah once more. School is boring and I am already breaking some of my new year resolutions. It's just the second week. Went to Kino with Fishy to get her phantom book (which I remember as The Phantom of the Opera but Susie Okay but it is obviously the wrong).

I'm thinking of not posting (like last year) in semester one since I have not much time to post and can only use the computer every weekend. Maybe I should find Mrs Lee next next monday or tuesday and get her to sign the CCA form (since form's due on 31st January).

I guess I was really tired (repaying my sleep debt) because no sooner after I reached home, talk to fishy on phone for a few minutes and finish up my noodles I fell asleep near 5.30pm and woke up at 9.30pm, and had a horrifying nightmare which I thought was hilarious now to think of it. Slept at 2am again and woke up at 7.30am this morning. More nightmares, one was a continuation of my previous one. Fishy feels like killing me after I told her about my weird nightmare.

I feel depressed once again.

school#4 '10

I am unfortunately and sadly been banned from computer and the television set because according to my mum "school had started and I cannot waste my life away watching tv shows or playing the computer games and every minute on the computer or in front of the tv is a form of distraction distracting me from my goal (RA math?). It makes me sad because I cannot record down things everyday (like what happen) and then I'll just forgot them. And no tv shows on weekdays also means that I will be missing every single episodes of Cruel Temptation on channel U.

I will start everything one by one :) All my teachers for this year:

Ms Debbie Tay lives just a five to eight minutes walk from me. It's really weird since even back in Rulang no teachers ever live that NEAR me. The nearest was, Mrs Chan? According to my unfortunate encounters with her she seems to live near where I attend art classes, therefore a fifteen minutes or so of bus ride. And that was a forty minutes walk! Fishy said it was cool -.- My mum thought that was great, in the future if I disobey her she will just go over to Ms Debbie and complain to her. Oh no for me. Ms Debbie (I like calling her that instead of Ms Tay) is my English/Literature/Speech and Drama/Form teacher who named her pair of male and female hamsters Pink Panties and Blue Briefs (she wanted alliteration).

Madam Zhanghao is the chinese teacher who gave me, Grace and Charmaine a straight detention class last year during the post-exam weeks when we ponned half of a chinese talk because we are in the library doing work of some sort. However, as soon as the talk ends she forgot all about it because I met her along the J-block corridors and she smiled at me. Not the evil smile, but the sort of you-don't-know-the-student-but-she-looks-guai smile. But she sounds like my grandma who is away in china (I miss my grandma sort of) so I pay attention during the lessons :D Also my co-form teacher.

Ms Sally Wong still remains as out interesting and funny geography teacher who give out mentos during lessons this year :D I am really glad. Most geography teachers are boring, since the subject is quite boring too.

Ms Chan is our philosophy teacher for this year (my last year's form teacher). Grace say she wasn't boring during philosophy :D

Mr Desmond Goh is the physics teacher who pooped in his pants because he was late for his university lecture (he was still a uni student then) and have to rush so skipped his daily poopin in the toilet and end up pooping in the pants. I got no idea why he must tell us something so gross on the first lesson but now whenever I thought of physics I will think of that teacher who poop in the pants.

And other teachers like Mrs Mak, the history teacher who talks really slow, I probably will not like her; Ms Hoo? my math advance teacher. Speaking of which I am REALLY REALY depressed 'cause I wasn't selected for the saturday math advance class that prepares people for math olympiad (i'm sort of competitive) but at the same time happy since I need not go school on saturdays.

My jap sensei is not so boring as last year's, but she's a japanese and therefore teaches everything with jap. The only reason why she uses english in the first lesson was because I don't understand what she is talking about all that in jap (ya la ya la I failed jap last year) and could not answer her questions. Well, interesting aside, she claims to make people stay back to finish the homework if we do not complete them, and since jap lessons ends really late I will not test that claim out, even though I really wish to test it out.

I feel so bad saying kim sensei's lessons is boring and dull but I do fall asleep during her lessons last year and thought that time pass really slow, but nothing of that sort happen this year. Okay maybe it was because I decide to mug hard for jap so as not to get the same grade as fishy again (errr, she got 4marks and I got 39, but we both got F grade. She pon everything and I only pon moderately and I bother to memorise notes last minute, though that doesn't help a lot. I can memorise science and math and history and geography notes really well last minute, but language is never something I can do well).

Since Mdm Rozannah is leaving RGS I will look for another CCA teacher to arrange for trials instead. Then I will get my PE teacher/Mrs Ong aka the CCA HOD (heng ah. Not Ms Goh Lee Kian anymore) to approve it. PE teacher seems boring but hope she is nicer.

PE today was like, errr, we took height and weight, went through the usual rules and expectations, what modules we taking, etc, stuffs, and then ran two rounds around the court that leaves me temporary paralysed (wonder how am I going to survive 2.4km run) and then an introduction for rock climbing before getting dismissed. ROCK CLIMBING IS COOL!!!. Excited. I grew another 1cm (none of my classmates are pleased with that) and put on 2.6kg.

Assembly got to be one of the msot boring one ever. Just talking about school administrative matters. After assembly me and Fishy decides to look for the guides CCA teacher but get held up because Vivian had constipation.

I went out for KFC with Charmaine, Nanshan and Annie afterwards and then went to BORDERS. I picked up 'Time Traveller's Wife' and read the middle part. Some parts are really gross so Charmaine had a disgusted look on her face when I showed her and Nanshan manage to capture down the priceless look. (But seriously Clare and Henry have sex like, 23 times a day? or more. They had no life!).

I came home on the MRT and spent 30 minutes trying to open the door because the lock is really tight and no matter how I turn the key it does not open (stupidstupidstupid). I called my mum after I got into the house asking for permission to use the computer but fall asleep on the sofa because I was too tired. Was all wet somemore because it was raining, I didn't bother to take out the umbrella so went home in the rain.

My mortal was an ex-rulangnite too! In fact my rulang CO junior who is planning on joinin CO in RGS too. I got no memory of her though -.- My first letter to her was stupid. I got no idea what to say to a total stranger and I refused to reveal the fact that I'm from rulang in the first letter so I basically wrote something like: "Hey ___! I got no idea what to say to you so I shall tell you about myself! I like blue, I favourite colour is blue so therefore I had a blue bag, wears a blue jacket since I'm sensitive to cold, have blue stationaries and wears a white shoes with tiny blue designs. I also wrapped my notebooks up in beautiful blue wrapping paper and has this weird weird OCD. I cannot tell you my height and weight because then I would be easy to spot among the crowd." And that was pretty retarded because I'm practically telling her: Hey! Spot me! You can look for someone with a blue bag, wears blue jacket most of the time and had blue shoes-.-

Grace got this cyberspace survey today and the last part was to decipher cyber language. I got all of it except the first one:

14: a text msg pom
his is r bunsn bnr bl%

his hair r lyk fe filling

w/ac/dc gg thru

he sit nxt 2 me in kemistry (?)

my @oms split

wen he :-)s @ me

[not sure about the third last sentence]
Grace asked me for help with this and my awesome interpretation was:

One for a text message poo on me (supposed to be 'a text message: poems for teens')
His eyes are bunsen burner blue (% looks like o/o and 'bloo' pronouce 'blue')

His hair are like iron fillings (FE is chemical symbol for iron)

Going through detention classes without air-con (AC stands for air-con and gg for going)

He sits next to me in Chemistry

My atoms split (this one was funny!)

When he smiles at me.

Charmaine figures that I uses too much cyber language. Short forms in other words.
Eek homework.

school#1 '10

The first day of school was... exhausting. And boring. I woke up in the morning at 6.20am because I kept snoozing my alarm, then got pissed and turn off the alarm because I forgot that there's school today, only to suddenly remember a few minutes later. So I sort of jerk from bed and prepare for school frantically. I end up wearing my shoes, socks, name tag, school badge on the car(mum send me) on the way to school.

Moving on, it's kind of weird since most people are wearing house tee or cullots with PE shirt and I'm one of those few wearing school uniform (I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT I MUST WEAR FORMAL ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL). I found my class standing at some end of the amphitheatre (saw people wearing green buckle shirt) and walk over. Due to my incessant yawnings and my inability to keep my eyes open I didnt spot Grace and Zhixin and Joanne at first. I guess Grace said something and I realised that they are all standing next to me. Charmaine turned around and yelled: XINGYUE YOU ARE FINALLY HERE and some other weird stuffs which I shall not say here but I found it funny.

So blahblahblah during the principal's useless talk Nanshan told me about how short the juniors are. I shall (hahaha) intimidate them with my height :D   At the end of the talk we cheered (stupid) to 'welcome' the secondary ones to RGS. I guess I had no need to intimidate them with my height, because they are terrified enough by the shriekings.

It was then two (or one and a half) hours of CLE periods where we basically did self-introductions, collect report books, get new handbooks and some sort of forms regarding school fees and finally elect new class committees, not to mention deciding on a class decoration theme who I found to be useless as well (I want to mug for Math RA, not plaster song lyrics -especially bleh songs that wannabes seems to love so much- on the wall). Okay fine I sort of state on my resolutions to be enthu in class, but I can't help it because the first day start off sort of badly.

Example: Why are there no lines on the spaces where we are supposed to note down out homework? WHY WHY WHY HOW AM I GOING TO NOTE THE HOMEWORK AND ASSIGNMENTS DOWN NEATLY? Number two: They somehow includes a few pages (six I assume) for writing and keeping track of the stage, status and jot notes down for Performance Tasks, which kind of depressed me further. Class Committee election did, however, raised my spirits up a bit, because OUR WONDERFUL CHARMAINE's leadership talent is finally regconised and she is the official vice-chairman for our class XD
Then the thoughts of Zhixin and Joanne leading the class in PE stretching exercises is simply hilarious. Haha I got a slack position again, some environment committee. Fishy is unlucky though, she's the biology representative for her class. Got sabotage haha.

The icebreaker thing was horrible horrible man. I have serious stage fright issues and hates speaking in front of the class, yet we are supposed to stand up and tell the form and co-form teacher our names and one interesting fact about us. I'm boring boring boring got nothing interesting about myself plus I will have to stand up and tell everyone, who already by the way know my name, with the exceptions of the teachers, my name. Which I find pretty dumb. Plus when Charmaine unexpectedly pointed her finger at me (which means it's my turn for introduction) I feel every eyes on me (I hate that) and sort of mind went blank. So I stood up and started stuttering: "Um...um...um...erm..er...erm..." and totally forgot what I was supposed to say until a moment later, repeating my name since Ms Debbie Tay wasn't able to hear it. The interesting fact thing I was supposed to state was like: HELLO I GOT NO IDEA I AM DULL AND BORING. So since Joanne turned around and tell me to say my height out I went: "People have the first impression that I'm tall" and fell back onto my chair because my legs went jelly. Having a panic attack.

After a three long talks school finally ends (not before Grace drop the bombshell on me, saying that school hours now ends at 3.30pm from Thursday onwards, which turns out to be a false alarm), and I went to Takashimaya with Fishy, where she finally purchased her books (Moonwalk by Michael Jackson & The Fortune of Indigo Skye) and then lalala we went home. I found my serial killer book and noted down the title this time: A History of British Serial Killings, which costed $38.47. I am going to save up for it and buy it, perhaps somewhere in June. 'The Secret History of Lucifer' was out of stock so I can't even browse through it. So was 'Phantom' (fishy wants this book).

Went home dreading CCA the next day, but at least I got my CCA transfer form and the procedure seems simple. Got two copies of the form for Fishy in case she lost her first one (which was what happened with Fishy's IVP form).

Grr just found out that I am the IC for some weird Project RICE event. Took this as an excuse to use the computer. But of course I still did collect attendance and it wasn't as difficult as Fishy claim it was, because most of the people replied the email(which was sent out by Anabelle and Michelle) so I only have to copy and paste stuffs. Played around with EXel 2007 meanwhile.

OH NO. CCA TOMORROW.

[reopen eve]

I just found out that next year there would be three sorts of math classes: Math Advance, Enriched and the normal Raffles Programme. Unfortunately Zhixin, Grace and Charmaine remain in RP; Annie, Joanne and Bridget went enriched; and I became the only one in Advanced. How?? I mean those other classmates of mine: Louise, Sarah, Chenxi, Alicia, Vernetta, Nicole, Joan, Xinyu, Lingwei, Mengxue, Cihui, Nanshan; they are all in advanced too but I'm not exactly that close to them so...

I'm gonna miss math lessons with Grace, Zhixin and Joanne: like erm, Zhixin forgot to do assignments so find me since I usually don't do mine too; Grace and I passed notes during lessons while Joanne look at us with weird eyes.

Gee. It's only one period.

---

Shit. Mum cut my hair ridiculously short so I am desperately waiting for February 'cause hair would have grown longer by then. Luckily my fringe ain't short.

School starts tomorrow. I just went Inet to check the timetable. Ms Chan is my philosophy teacher this year (she's my form teacher last year), Geography teacher remains as Ms Wong (XDDD) unless like what Gen say, there's more than one Sally teaching Geography. Some Debbie person is the literature/english/speech&drama teacher.

Correction: School in twenty-three hours. And my school bag isn't dry from washing yet. I cannot find my socks/schoolbadge/nametag. Pencil case's missing and I cannot open the schedule for tomorrow on Inet (because the teacher didn't even put it up -.- but Zhixin can open it. She told me the schedule which I sort of forgot except that there's a house talk at the end and some opening talk and a two hours CLE -probably to collect report books- before recess). School ends at 12.50pm and then off to Taka with Fishy.

[new year resolution`10]

I guess I'm quite late in writing my new year's resolution for 2010 (been reading the three novels mum bought as my christmas presents). Seeing that everyone else had written theirs already, erm so here:

1. First and foremost, I will stop being so lazy. I will not procrastinate my work. I will complete all the school assignments and hand in neat and tidy work on time and take extra efforts during my free time to mug harder and (erm) try to achieve a 4.0 GPA (impossible -.-). Stop finding excuses for not doing homework: no time, tired, etc.

 2. I will stop blasting music in the night as an attempt to fall asleep and damage my eardrums (plus what a waste of MP3 batteries).

 3. I will be more sociable and try to avoid conflicts with family and friends. Control my temper (have a bad temper after all) and try not to snap too easily and lost control of myself :)  Stop getting pissed over trival matters and ignoring people as a result (ignore because I don't bother arguing and because I don't like quarrels so ignore to stop myself from saying hurting stuffs). No more door-banging, stompings, punching.

4. Be nicer to my siblings. No more scolding them for being noisy and yelling and shouting at them (since my sister bought a bugs bunny keychain for me using her own allowance -she've got lesser allowance than me- and chose the stitch plushie for me).

5. Money Management: Will save money so that I can buy more novels and DVD in the future instead of repeating "this is the last time" over and over to myself and waste money on unhealthy snacks. Do not overspend money on unheathy and useless food during the first few days of the week and had no money to spend during the remaining of the week. Stop borrowing large sums from others unless absolutely necessary.

6. Speaking of health, no eating cup noodles at Redhill because it is UNHEALTHY unless I am starving and totally famished. Same with potato chips, KFC and any other forms of unheathy food unless I want to die early.

7. Quit ponning CCA.

8. Be nicer to friends (I repeat, DO NOT IGNORE THEM BECAUSE I AM ANGRY WITH THEM. EXPLAIN, REACH A COMPROMISE. NO MORE CONFLICTS. NO MORE MISUNDERSTANDINGS!!!) Remember their birthdays without the use of calendars, calendars in handbook, daily planners, notebooks, event notifications in handphone, sticky pads, msn personal messages saying:'__ days to my birthday' or any other sort of countdowns, or any other forms of reminders. Buy presents (or at least prepare cards) if physically and mentally and emotionally possible.

9. Maybe be more enthusiastic in school activities. Tossed away my nonchalent attitude and contribute more towards the class (?). Oh yes. Hand in class fund on time-.-

10. Gain weight! Eat meals on time so that I don't get gastric as often. Do not stay in class during recess, get hungry, and run down to canteen to buy candies to eat during class five minutes before recess ends.

11. Shall not break rules :D

12. Ignore no.10 (above). Continue breaking rules but moderately.

13. Use the computer less often (and be less addicted to facebook and other gaming website, MSN, or any other webpage that does not serve educational purposes).

14. Take consistent notes. No taking notes diligently in the first semester and slacked the second semester. Do not doodle. Do not waste time choosing colour for notes (despite my OC - like things to be the same colour throughout, in this case, all my notes for one certain chapter to be the same colour throughout.)

15. DO NOT OC^{compulsive obsessive} TOO MUCH. Don't wake up in the middle of the night just to arrange my folders and files or tidy up my bookshelves.

16. Don't repeat the mistakes I make this year. Be more optimistic next year and not be so paranoid.

17. When going out with friends, tell mum the truth about where I'm going instead of lying that I have school activities and don't go bookshops at orchard too often after school.

18. Follow my daily planner. Remember to do everything in the to-do list I wrote down on my notebook. Don't procrastinate.

19. Watch less TV.

20. Never ever bring any biology experiment objects back home. (Eg, mealworms. As a result I still have rashes now, and I return the mealworms like months ago).

Err my list was long... Okay let me recount what happen this year (in chronological order):

• Had a hard time adapting to a new school (new classmates and additional subjects)
• Make new friends like Grace and Zhixin and Joanne and Bridget :D
• I was too kaypo and did something I regret even 'til now
• Got sick for one whole week, thank god not H1N1
• Got more new friends like Charmaine and Annie and Nanshan and Ariel :D
• Went back China during the short September holidays.
• Fixed up Annie and her bf (with charmaine and nanshan's help)
• Went for the math advance class test thingy but not know the results yet.
• Conflicts... bleh. Currently feeling depressed and anti-social.

Okay anyway summing all up, er, haiya I just hate going to new school. Stupid adjustment problems. Hope next year gets better.

~happy new year :]

[school in six days]

current music: shadow of the day/linkin park
current mood: stress and panic.

School's starting in six more days. Haiya. Why is it that one hour in school seems like forever and one month of holidays seems to pass so fast. Erm okay. I don't like the first day of every single school year because: I don't know which classroom to go to; since the timetable isn't given out yet then i had no idea what to bring to school; I might get mean teachers this time round.

Just paranoid.

I should calm down. Zhixin said that we'll just bring notebook (to take down anything important) and stationeries. Okay, breathe in breathe out.

I just realised that I didn't mug jap at all during the holidays. (instead spend the time scolding my sis and bro or reading books). I hope Charmaine is coming back from Beijing soon. Had to ask her some CCA-related stuffs.

---

I like this year's christmas decoration at orchard road. There's this section where they 'dressed' rudolph up in dresses.

my favourite ^^ :D

---

I'm trying to read 'The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes' so that when I watch the movie this weekend I can understand it better. Didnt turn out that boring as I once thought (bought that book in primary four or something). I didn't know Sherlock Holmes had a love interest.

But I find the part how Sherlock Holmes is able to erm, deduce everything accurately (?) / correctly weird and funny.

OOOO so excited. Gonna watch Sherlock Holmes this weekend as my last holiday movie before school reopens, with my mum since she read the chinese version of sherlock holmes when she was young.

---

Counting down to school. Things to do on first day of school: find mdm rozannah and arrange for cca trials; accompany fishy to taka and buy books; pass christmas card to charmaine; seriously read my jap textbook for once and erm, sortta prepare for jap lessons on thursday? since I figure half the class quitted already.

[xmas eve]

Great. I slept really early yesterday night at about 10.30pm and woke up late this morning: 11am. Which equals twelve hours and a half. I guess that's because I have a rather interesting dream. Me and Fishy domintating the world! Fishy being 20 years older than me.

Woke up in the morning to discovered that my (i think is wisdom tooth) tooth at the side grow a bit more, and bits of gums fell out. So when I am brushing my teeth the gums fall out of my mouth, and some blood. Gross :\ But it wasn't painful.

Just as I was about to use the computer Fishy called and demand 5 bayleaves from me. Not that much cash! Plus I am still saving up money for other stuffs to furnish my restaurant so I only bought two for Fishy. Promise to plant plants and get cheaper bayleaves for her. Since one of my plant is a sugar plant Fishy also demanded sugar from me. Sigh... that what I have to do since she gifted two of her festive machines to me, costing 50k in restaurant city.

Mum said that we will be eating out for dinner today!!! At Sakae Sushi:D  After which I will borrow and return books at the library. Since it's Christmas tomorrow we will be going to orchard road and I can buy more books :) Read finish most of the books I bought the other time.

Thing to do for christmas:

1. Get Xmas presents for my friends.
2. Finish up Mum's Xmas present.
3. Get presents for sis and bro even though they are extremely noisy and unreasonable most of the time.
4. Write a Xmas wish list.

---

Yo Santa:

I have been a relatively good girl this year, and only snacks on potato chips from time to time and maybe shouting at my bro and sis for being noisy, so I guess I am not being demanding by wishing for the following items:

• A room of my own, completed with blue, white, grey and black furnitures, such as a tall bookshelf with seven shelves of varying height to put my books, a long white desk, etc.
• An electric blue laptop (the latest best model)/tablet PC
• Stitch and Doraemen collectibles :D:D
• Example of above: the huge huge stitch plushie I saw at jurongpoint.
• All the food I want XD
• Books: Vampire Academy, Frostbite, Shadow-kissed, Blood Promise and the upcoming fifth book.
• DVD: Jurassic Park movies, Lilo and Stitch, Bug Bunny :D
• Chardolph to be emo no more! (afterall she is a human version of your Rudolph)
• Get out of current CCA, basically change CCA successfully.
• M&Ms
• Endless supply of sushis and coke and green tea
• Plushies for my sis and bro
• Turtle/turtoise plushies for my bro
• Games for my sis
• Give Fishy a more well-behaved brother next year
• Cookies :D
• Slaves to do all my homework for me muahahaha
• New phone

---

Just traded with Fishy on Restaurant City:

My cute little wasabi gone! Traded away for an ugly brown onion. :'(

Erm the only time I ever tasted wasabi was in China back then in September. I got tricked into eating it! We were at this restaurant there and Uncle ordered some weird looking seafood which I've never taste before. And then he put some wasabi paste on the food and asked me to eat it (say it taste very very delicious). Erm under force and blurness (got no idea it was wasabi because I was wishing for roast duck) I ate it, and spit out everything -.-

I suspect my sis is senile. She just told mum that she wants her to buy sis a chinese assessment book since mum only bought english, math and science books for her.