Oh crap. I closed down my philo half-finished PT without saving. AT ALL. Need to redo le. WHY ARE THIS RETARDED THINGS ALWAYS HAPPENIN TO ME?
I can't even differentiate between stereotype, marginalisation, alienation, pride, prejudice and understand how all this leads to discrimination. I'm too dumb, either that or I'm too lazy to care. Always get freaking confused during discussions because i do not understand what yenjean and lingwei guys are talking about. Not blaming you guys (you guys are awesome!! :D), my comprehension skills simply sucks.
AH I WANT TO KILL MYSELF
-another one hour passed-
Finally finished my PT. Just realised i wasted a whole afternoon on it, despite getting home early today. I wasted lots of time today. need to manage my time some day. Jap tomorrow. HELP. :(
And I still feel lost. I hate the feeling of not being able to sort out that mess in my head and resort to dumping everything away. Hiding them, or numbing myself, all the same la. Doing more work is NOT helping. There's still a empty space, missing piece of puzzle, whatever you call it. But whatever it is, i have to accept the consequences, because i let go of it, i let go of that chance, i made that decision. fiona once told me, if you love something, let go of it. if it is meant to be yours, it will come back to you. Guess it applies here. It is not meant to be mine. Its never meant to be mine i guess. But I still regret that decision. I'll try to let go... Slowly bit by bit i can manage the pain in my heart.
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