school#45 '10

I have tons of homework for the march holiday. The meaning of  'holiday' is horribly screwed up by the MOE people and schoolteachers.

holiday noun
a time, often one or two weeks, when someone does not go to work or school but is free to do what they want, such as travel or relax

Note the word relax. Now I see that piles of worksheet equals relaxation.

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I hate it that people just take so long to climb the rock wall and act scared for 10 minutes or so before climbing. On friday during PE lessons this asshole was acting scared for 10 minutes when she had prepared everythign already (plus its not the first time she tried the lane four wall) and in the end I couldn't climb it. (waste of time)

My work schedule is pretty messed up. For the past two weeks or so; from monday to friday: Go school, come home, sleep no matter if there is homework or not, chiong homework last minute. And I got no idea how people like Sarah or Crystal could cope with all their commitments.

I don't even sleep well nowadays. Basically I get nightmares like being trapped in a wide, semi-dark, staircase and I see my sister occasionally but only the back of her. Then I will wake up covered in sweat and being sleepy for the rest of the day. Either that or I won't even be able to fall asleep at night. My sleeping pattern is screwed up too. I need counselling help seriously.

Oh well I failed my jap CA1 again. Not much surprise actually. At the rate I'm going now I don't even get enough rest so I don't really think I would be able to survive this year. I probably can't get promoted to sec3. The not-enough-sleep and insomia and nightmares are affecting me quite badly because: my math skill and calculating speed have obviously went down, my memory is getting worse, I feel tired all the time, I'm getting paranoid, I can't think straight, I feel like shutting myself away from the rest of the world and sleep all day long.



























I just want to know, why are some people born with perfect, supportive parents while others have parents who don't even know or care about what is going in your life, and don't really care much that about the stress one faced in school and anywhere else, just because back in their time, back in their country, school was easy for them. I mean I know I am not born multi-talented (or even mildly talented), but I do need support too, and you are not being understandable when you assumes things about me all the time. I know you think I'm not being considerate about your feelings, but I need more time than whoever else in the family to adapt to such a huge change, because I hate it when you are so happy around others and moody around me. You never ask about my school, how it was, and all the time you just blame me for not managing my time properly, and assumes I'm pretending to have sleeping difficulties or is under huge amount of pressure in order to get your attention. No it is not a pretense it is real it is there. And I really need to talk to you about it. I don't know how to continue on. I really don't know how anymore.